New Singing Group Makes Big Splash
A new 'boy-band' has appeared overnight, sweeping the charts with an offbeat sound and their wacky personalities. Tonight, Happy Fun Pundit interviews the boys:
HFP: Hey guys. How's it going?
Jigger: Yo yo yo, before we start I'd like to give a big shout-out to my homeys at Guantanamo, Allah be praised.
HFP: So, where do you guys come from, and what made you start a band?
Jigger: Well, we come from...France. We are trying to lay low for a while, and someone told us that if we formed a boy band we'd be popular for a bit and then no one would hear from us again. Death to the Infidels.
HFP: Okay, 'death'. Got it. Now, Broody... I understand you recently learned to play the bass. How's that coming along?
Broody: The rivers will run red with the blood of our enemies! We will eat your intestines and destroy your society! Oh, and one of the first 1000 infidels to buy our album will win a 'dream date' with me.
HFP: That's great. I'm sure the girls are lining up now.
Broody: Virgins only.
HFP: Yeah, right. Good luck. Now, Jon Lovitz, I'm surprised to see you in the band. What are you doing here?
Jon: Hey, work is work.
HFP: True enough. I guess you aren't exactly setting 'em on fire these days, eh?
Jon: No, and that's in my contract. I won't set anything on fire.
HFP: Now, dopey... How did you get that name?
Dopey: Well, remember when those guys went back to the rental agency to get their money back after the first WTC attack? That was my idea.
HFP: Okay. Point made. So then you...
Dopey: And the shoe lighting thing? My plan.
HFP: We get the point.
Broody: The wrath of Allah will descend upon the infidels and reduce their cities to rubble.
HFP: That's great. Hey, where's "The Shy One" tonight? Isn't he your drummer?
Jigger: We didn't want to talk about that. He accidentally martyred himself while trying to make a drumstick out of plastic explosive. We lose a lot of drummers that way.
HFP: Well, I'm sure you can find more drummers. Thanks, Boys. We'll let you get back to the cave now.
THE BOYS: DIE, INFIDEL SCUM!
HFP: Death to you, too.