Well, it's summit time here in Alberta, and since I live very close to the summit, I thought I should drive down there and give our readers a first-hand account of exactly what's happening.
That thought lasted until the temperature went up to 34 degrees Celcius (about 93 Fahrenheit), at which point it was replaced by the thought that I should really follow the G8 summit from a lakefront resort. So, the wife and I packed up the child and Katie the dog, and off we went.
There was very little G8 action at the lake, but there was a high-school graduation party. A big one. A big, noisy, hormone-laden one. One in which there was much yee-hawing and drinking and probably a lot of sex. In other words, it was WAY better than some lousy G8 summit.
Being a good reporter, I thought I could salvage some form of political respectibility from this trip, so I interviewed one of the grad kids about the G8:
Dan: "So, what do you think of the G8 summit happening nearby?"
Grad: Dude! Listen up. You get some rippin' abs, and a good lower back, and you're stylin'! These guys wasting their time working their arms and legs and calves and stuff, they're like, stupid. The babes don't care, man. They just want those rippin' abs.
Dan: Okay, I see your point, and it's an important one. Tell me what you think is the most important issue facing the G8.
Grad: Dude! Listen, I know all about the G8. My buddy's got a smokin' Mustang with a G8 in it. Blows the doors off of my buddy's Valiant, man.
Dan: You know, it's rare to meet a grad who is ignorant of both politics and cars. How did you manage that?
Grad: Dude! You like my abs? I had to shoot myself up with horse tranquilizers to get that rip, man. But the babes just go nuts for it!
Dan: I notice you don't actually have a 'babe' with you...
Grad: Dude, that's cold, man.
Dan: Just what did you graduate from?
Grad: Dude! Like, high school man. Gonna be a doctor, man. 'Cause the babes dig doctors, and like, they can prescribe their own steroids. I'm gonna be huge, Dude.
Dan: God help us.
In conclusion, I'd like to say that the G8 summit is, like, really hot, dudes.